Losing Myself, Finding Myself
by Melissande
Summary: Response to a challenge at Litafics on LJ When someone gets wind of the future, they try to change it all while being in an elevator. LitaJohn Pairing


Title: Losing Myself, Finding Myself  
Author: Mel also known as Queen Mab 319 or mab319  
Pairing/Character: Lita/John Cena  
Disclaimer: I own nada dang thing other than the story that results from the challenge.  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Someone gets wind of the future and sets out to change it  
Spoilers: Maybe, I guess…Lita leaving? It's reported but I still hold out hope its wrong.  
Warnings: None that I know of…except the muses warn me sadness will follow

Note: Response to a challenge at the Litafics community on LJ.

-X-

Lita let out a breathe. The bottle red head was standing in front of the elevator in the hotel the WWE was currently occupying waiting for the bell to ding to announce it's arrival and her chance to escape upstairs to her room.

Lita had been bombarded by co-workers the past three or so days, ever since news had leaked to the internet of the possibility of her either leaving or taking a leave of absence. And needless to say Lita was sick and tired of answering questions, received snide remarks about her character or chances of being a success with out the WWE, or the other side of the spectrum the offers of parties, well-wishes, hopes for the future.

Lita had just come back from a dinner that had included Trish Stratus, the other young woman leaving, and most of the other divas in the company. It had been fun for awhile, but once the entrees had been eaten and the desert arrived conversation had turned to the old days, when everything was still fun and Lita, or Amy, she'd have to start thinking of herself as Amy again…wow.

Amy let out a breathe as she thought about the good and bad times…the days of being carefree and flying high.

"Was I ever that young?" Amy thought as she finally heard the ding of the elevator arriving from the floors above.

"No I wasn't." Amy said out loud as she entered the elevator, pressing the button for the 12th floor and leaning back into the corner as the doors began to close.

Amy closed her eyes, preparing herself for the ride. She wasn't fond of elevators, but it was better to use it then go up all those stairs, in shape or not.

A half second before the doors closed they were stopped. As they pushed open Amy looked up to see John Cena standing there.

The young man smiled sheepishly as he entered the elevator. He nodded at Amy then took up the other side of the elevator, pressing 8 before doing so.

Amy nodded back before returning to her thoughts. She really had wanted to ride alone, but at least it was only one person and John kept to himself around her so she didn't fear him bothering her.

The pair both rode up in respected silence until suddenly the elevator halted it's upward progress.

Amy's eyes slid open in time to see the lights go out and to lurch to the side. Amy re-closed her eyes in preparation of the impact with the carpeted floor. She had no idea what John was doing, but figured after impact she'd figure it out.

Amy never hit the floor. Instead she found herself in John Cena's lap. When the elevator stopped and lurched to the side, the young Massachusetts native had fallen back into the wall and slide down, Lita coming to a rest in his lap.

At the feeling of cloth, Amy's eyes opened. She looked up and saw blue staring down at her.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled and moved to get up even if she couldn't see where she would be going as the emergency lights had yet to come on.

"Nah…it's cool." Cena said as he moved to stop her. "Don't worry. I'd rather ya have ended up in my lap than hear ya hit the floor anyway."

Amy accepted his explanation, but arose anyway with assistance. She ended up with her back to the wall, a few inches from Cena, as he had turned to seat himself beside her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just a little shook up. I hate elevators."

"Yeah I know."

"What?"

"I know. Lita I work with you. I have to be an idiot not to pick up on things about you."

"Oh."

Amy wasn't too sure of his reasoning. She was usually reserved with most the roster; the only exceptions being close friends, which was a list that had shrunk in the Matt/Edge scandal, but it had rebounded a little as she made new friends. New friends she was now going to leave alone with the old loyal friends.

"You sure you're okay red?"

"Yeah. Just thinking."

"Not good. I'd ask, but I don't want to pry."

"It's nothing really. Just about change."

"Oh." John said leaving the silence to fill up the things he left unsaid such as the fact he knew she meant the fact that she was leaving. She was leaving and John didn't like it. He had worked with her for over a year now and he had grown used to seeing her. He had watched her for the past year and wanted nothing more than to talk to her…to be with her. That was his secret. Yeah he worked with her and Edge for storyline purposes, but usually after the night was over…they went back to casual friends, nothing more than acquaintances and well John didn't like that. He'd wanted a chance to make her want more with him…but now it looked like it wouldn't' happen.

Lita knew nothing of John's thoughts. To her he was just a storyline…another wrestler.

"Do you want me to see what's up?"

"Would you?"

"Sure."

Cena made his way to the emergency phone. It was picked up immediately by hotel management and he was informed a mechanical failure had happened, but they would be out soon, information he relayed to Lita, who just nodded.

"So looks like we got some time to talk."

"Yeah."

Silence once more took a foot hold in the elevator until it became too much to bear.

"Lita may I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why?"

Lita's eyebrow crinkled.

"Pardon?"

"Why? I asked you why."

"Why what?"

"Why are you leaving?"

"Oh. Well…"

"I'm sorry if I'm over stepping my bounds, but I just want to know. I mean sure you don't get to wrestle a lot right now, but you are in a pretty high spot on the roster. You are sure to be in the women's title run again soon and well why are you leaving."

"Well…I'm tired I guess."

"You're tired?"

"Yeah. I've been in this business non-stop except for injuries. I'm tired. After last year…"

"Yeah?"

"After last year I just got sick of it all. I was so tired of everything…everyone and well I want a break."

"Oh. I guess I can understand that. But I think there's more to it then that."

Amy grew quiet. She knew she was only giving him superficial answers. She hadn't really told anyone why. She'd only admitted it to herself and well that was hard enough.

"You can share ya know. I won' tell anybody. It will be our secret."

"Fine. You want to know? I am tired. But mainly I want to find me again."

Amy let out a breathe.

"What do you mean?"

"Well somewhere along the way…I lost me. I don't know who Amy is and who Lita is anymore. You call me Lita…most of my closest friends call me Amy. Those numbers are few these days."

John took in Lita's words.

"I can understand. But it's a risk ya take when ya get in the public eye."

"I know but up until last year I could be Lita to the world then go home and be Amy. When Matt did what he did…the lines got blurred, crossed and eventually disappeared. Now I get called slut because of what I did to Matt and Kane. It's not storyline and reality…it's both. And I don't like that. I want to go back to being me for a while. I want to find Amy again…I have missed her and well I need to find her again or I'm afraid she'll be lost forever and all you'll ever see is Lita."

Both grew quiet, John took the time to think and make his way to sitting right next to Lita.

"I understand. It's just well to be honest…don't' think me shallow or nothin' but I'm gonna miss ya."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. You see…Amy…if I can call ya that. I have been carryin' a secret for the past year or so."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. You see…I want to know Amy. I want to know Lita. I want to know you."

"You do know me."

"I know but I mean on a deeper level. I have wanted to be more than friends with you for I don't even know how long anymore and well now I'm scared that wit' ya leavin' I won't get a chance."

The pair grew silent as hazel found blue in the dim light. A wealth of information was passed in a few seconds. John's head moved slowing closer to Lita's. The pair a breathe apart when suddenly the elevator lurched to life and began moving. The pair looked at one another…neither really wanting to move…but found they had to as the elevator began to stop.

The doors opened revealing Cena's floor…he held Amy's gaze as he made his way to the door, holding them open with his body as he turned to look at the red head.

"So Amy am I gonna get a chance to know ya?"

Amy thought about it for a second before replying.

"I'm not leaving forever…so who knows what will happen. I'll make sure you get my cell number before I leave."

Amy's face broke out in a smile, John's did as well. He stepped back allowing the doors to close and the elevator to continue towards it's final destination. He made his way to his room a smile on his lips.

Amy exited the elevator on the 12th floor feeling better than she had in a long time. She had entered the elevator to think of the past and future…and had instead met a possible future. She was leaving sure…to find herself but maybe she didn't have to look to far or too long. Amy smiled to herself as she entered her hotel room, knowing she was going to find herself but it wouldn't be too long before she'd be back, especially with the thought of possibility to come back to. No she wouldn't be gone long.

-X-

Note: This is what the muses came up with. May not be great or awesome or my best work, but hey it's work! Hope anyone who does read it, enjoys it and yeah. Mel


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